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Fan mail from some flounder?
Because he works on TV, Channel 4 sports guy Dennis Patchin is a celebrity - though the depth of that celebrity is sometimes open to question. So it went the other night at a local watering hole, when the KXLY sports anchor was recognized sort of - by an admiring viewer.
“You ain’t Chris Berman,” the man said, fumbling for Patchin’s name, “but you’re pretty cool.”
Speaking of the price of fame …
Dallas Cowboys Michael Irvin and Erik Williams might have been vindicated, but don’t think the sports pundits put a harmonious spin on America’s Most Wanted Team.
“Once you’ve established that you’re a sleazebag, you don’t get the benefit of a doubt,” said noted Cowboys basher Tony Bruno, weekend host of the Connecticut-based ESPN Radio talk show heard on 280 stations across the country.
Last week, a 23-year-old Mesquite, Texas, woman confessed to police she falsely accused wide receiver Irvin of holding a gun to her head and offensive tackle Williams of raping her.
Her initial detailed account unleashed a hailstorm of criticism toward a team that already had seen more than its share of legal troubles in recent years.
Bob Verdi, a Chicago Tribune sports columnist, said even though Irvin and Williams were innocent until proved guilty, “What about the rest of the police blotter? I mean, this isn’t a team with a Good Housekeeping award.”
Vito Stellino of the Baltimore Sun called the Cowboys “a team you might take home to Mom if she were Ma Barker.”
But no one got on the Cowboys quite as hard as Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register, who pointed out people loved it when Dallas was ousted from the playoffs by the Carolina Panthers because “their defensive coordinator is not Johnnie Cochran; there is nothing illegal inside their nickel package.”
That ex-Magic touch
When Shaquille O’Neal stopped by the locker room to say good luck to his old hockey buds, the Florida Panthers, they promptly went out and lost 5-0 to the Los Angeles Kings.
“He Kazaamed us,” Florida goaltender John Vanbiesbrouck said.
Asked if he returned the favor by giving O’Neal advice on free-throw shooting, Vanbiesbrouck laughed and said “He palmed my head.”
The last word …
“Defense, intensity, fun, whining.”
- Suns coach Danny Ainge, asked to describe the hallmarks of an Ainge-coached team
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo