Cheap Seats

He swings the woods really well

Hugh Baiocchi isn’t much of a baseball fan. On his way to winning a Senior PGA Tour event recently in Indianapolis, he checked out the scoreboard, saw a mention of Sammy Sosa’s home run and was puzzled.

Said Baiocchi: “I saw ‘Sosa 61.’ I thought, ‘Who the devil is Sosa? He must have come out of the pack.”’

Play left him breathless

In a recent game at the Colorado Rockies’ Coors Field, Florida’s Gregg Zaun was at the plate with a 3-2 count, two out and runners on first and second.

That meant the runners were moving on the next pitch - and 10 pitches after that. Zaun fouled off 11 straight, and Cliff Floyd sprinted from second to third on each one of them, a strenuous effort in the thin air of Colorado.

Finally, Zaun got a hit, scoring Floyd. “He (Floyd) got home and collapsed - right on his back,” Marlins coach Rich Donnelly said. “I think the trainer had to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.”

You can call him Ray, you can him nuts

Beleaguered Philadelphia Eagles coach Ray Rhodes, whose Eagles are 0-5, is getting desperate

“It’s driving me crazy,” Rhodes said. “You can’t sleep. How can you sleep when you’re getting your butt kicked? I can’t close my eyes. My wife thinks I’m out of my mind. She’s right.”

That ol’ green-and-gold flu

The Green Bay Packers weren’t the only ones shut down during their Monday night loss. A General Motors plant in Janesville, Wis., also was idled by workers who called in sick for the night shift, presumably so they could watch the game.

“We just didn’t have enough people to operate,” said Gary Giles, manager of the assembly plant that makes GM sports-utility vehicles such as the Suburban and Tahoe.

About 140 second-shift employees phoned in sick in the apparent outbreak of green-and-gold flu. Employees who did show up were sent home about 6 p.m., Giles said Tuesday.

The plant also had to send workers home during a Monday night game in October 1996 after about 200 employees called in sick.

Plant officials sent employees a letter last week stressing the importance of showing up for work. Televisions around the plant were tuned in to the ABC telecast Monday, when the Packers lost to the Minnesota Vikings.

They’re probably really ill now.

If the shoe fits …

Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Tribune: “Stunned by the Far East financial crisis and criticism over its labor practices, Nike announced that first-quarter earnings fell 35 percent.

“In response, Nike announced it will lay off 300 employees in Asia, so there’s a salary savings of $10 right there.”

The last word …

“The bar is set very, very low.”

- Chicago Cubs director of marketing John McDonough explaining why Roger Maris’ six children didn’t have to worry about leading the Wrigley Field crowd in singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game.”