Hey, Ask Me About Us

Indiana University men’s basketball coach Bobby Knight answered right up when he was asked during the Big Ten Conference media day about the prospect of facing former Indiana player Steve Alford, now the head basketball coach at the University of Iowa: “I have no interest in talking about Iowa, Michigan State, Ohio State, anybody,” Knight said.

“You’ve got a question about Indiana, ask it… . That’s what the hell we’re here for.

“The only other subject I’d be glad to talk about is fishing. They’re the only two things I really know a hell of a lot about.”

There’s seems to be no chance tact will become a third.

The longest yards

Putting Dan Marino’s 60,000 yards passing in perspective: About 34.1 miles, 163 trips up and down the Washington monument; 600 football fields and seven-tenths of a mile more than 21 trips across the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.

No more mascot mash

He’s been warned that he may have bashed enough Bruins, strangled sufficient Spartans and hammered his last Husky.

The University of Oregon has told Scott Spaan to stop battering large toy mascots of the opposing team during Ducks football games.

The unofficial cheerleader recently received a registered letter from athletic director Bill Moos, saying Spaan’s season tickets could be revoked or he could be ejected from Autzen Stadium if he continues to swing the toy mascots from a rope, smashing them against the stadium’s concrete steps each time the Ducks score.

“It reflects poorly on our program and our university,” Moos said. “I appreciate Scott’s enthusiasm, but it is offensive to people. It really is not in the spirit of sportsmanship.”

He was a Bear with words

Tom FitzGerald in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Margaret Bauman of Anchorage, Alaska, passes on this story of legendary Alabama football coach Bear Bryant: “It seems Bear was in Gainesville, Fla., for an Alabama-Florida game and called room service for breakfast. `I’d like two raw sausage patties, burned toast, some blackened scrambled eggs and lukewarm coffee,’ he said.

“`Sir,’ the hotel worker said, `we can’t send you an order like that.’ To which Bear growled, `The hell you can’t. That’s what I got yesterday.”’

The last word …

“Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for Brad Pitt to get the girl or for Bill Gates to hit Scratch ‘n’ Win.”

- Rick Reilly of Sports Illustrated.