Don’T Forget Bobby Riggs
IMG, which represents tennis analyst John McEnroe and Venus and Serena Williams, is trying to put together an exhibition match between McEnroe and one of the Williams sisters for a prime-time telecast on CBS.
The idea stems from McEnroe’s comments that any good male college player or Senior Tour member could beat the Williams sisters.
Asked about the possibility of such a match, McEnroe told the New York Post: “I’d insist on winner-take-all and no (money) guarantees, just to make sure they wouldn’t be getting a ton of money to lose to me.”
He’s gone mental
Pirates catcher Jason Kendall, on losing: “This is tough. Mentally, it beats you down. I don’t care if you’re playing marbles or tic-tac-toe with your sister or brother. You lose, you’re going to get bitter.”
Please explain how anyone with a clue can lose at tic-tac-toe.
A little talent wouldn’t hurt, either
Florida Marlins reliever Armando Almanza, on being 1-2 with a 25.05 ERA in nine appearances since Aug. 7: “Maybe I should go out there with one black shoe and one white shoe. I’ve been thinking about it. Maybe I should wear my underwear backwards. Something to change my luck.”
He’s the third stooge
There’s a question of how appropriate it was for ABC to hire a comedian, Dennis Miller, to impersonate a football color man.
The more relevant question is, just how funny is he without his late-night, cable-TV, take-no-prisoners shtick?
Consider these lines from Monday’s telecast:
“It’s not surprising the ball might be slippery for a guy named Griese… .
“Everybody is worried about me using profanity and the only F-word I might use is (Marshall) Faulk… .
“You can’t teach quick… .”
Writes Dana Pennett O’Neil of the Philadelphia Daily News: “It’s not so much that Miller is bad (though he is). His biggest offense is he’s unnecessary, the third wheel on a football bicycle….
“I couldn’t help but think of a pal who once observed amid the whole `Friends’ frenzy: `My friends are funnier.”’
But Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox are cuter.
The last word …
“In case of emergency, break glass.”
The note - accompanied by a hammer - that was attached to Dan Marino’s glass-encased locker.