Why not just follow the law?

Before cellphones, before cordless phones, before push-button phones, back in the early days of the rotary-dial phone, there was the party line.

The party line was a wiring system in which several households in the same neighborhood shared a single phone line.

There were no ring tones, but everyone had a ring, or rings, that identified the party to whom the incoming call was intended.

If you wanted to make a call, you picked up the receiver to see if anyone else was on the line. If no one was, you made your call.

If someone was on the line, however, you hung up – or you didn’t hang up.

Human nature being what it is, many people did not hang up. In fact, a major source of entertainment was not hanging up.

Thus, telephone conversations would often begin like this:

“Hello, excuse me for a second. Mrs. Norton, Mrs. Norton, I know you’re listening in. Hang up the phone, Mrs. Norton. This is none of your business.”

We still have party lines, of course, except now it’s not the neighbors listening to private conversations, it’s the government.

“Mr. Orwell, Mr. Orwell, I know you’re listening in. Hang up the phone, Mr. Orwell. This is none of your business.”

So what is the party line on the new party line? Terrorism, what else?

President Bush says that if terrorists are making calls in the United States, he wants to know what they’re talking about.

Well, you know what, so do I. So does everyone.

But if I’m making phone calls, or my friends in the newsroom are making phone calls, or my doctor is making phone calls, or my financial adviser is making phone calls (not that I have a financial adviser), or Hillary Clinton is making phone calls, or Chief Justice John Roberts is making phone calls, I don’t want the government to know what they’re talking about.

But then, that’s just me.

The administration claims its domestic spying program targets only a small number of suspect individuals.

Others claim the eavesdropping is much more widespread and use the term “data mining” to describe it.

Kind of reminds you of that famous Marx Brothers quip: Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

What many people can’t understand is why the administration doesn’t just operate within the established legal framework and go to the special court and get warrants for those they want to wiretap. The law even allows intelligence operatives to apply for a warrant after the fact if timeliness is a consideration.

To explain all this, Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee on Monday for seven hours. When he was finished bobbing and weaving, the administration’s legal rationale for disregarding the law boiled down to this:

“Warrants? Who needs them.”

Which brings to mind an old country lyric:

“When the phone don’t ring you’ll know it’s me.”