Neva Hargrave lived every day to the fullest
“Wait till you see! You’ll never believe what I found today – I didn’t need it but it was such a good deal!” Those words are probably repeated by garage-sale enthusiasts hundreds of times every weekend throughout the warm months, but none ever topped Neva Hargrave’s excitement over her “finds.” It might be yet another silver-and-glass salt ‘n’ pepper set for her collection, or a few more Disney drinking glasses – whatever she chose, it was an added treasure, safely displayed in her antique curved-glass china closet.
She died in her sleep Aug. 7 after returning to her home of 51 years on Hargrave Avenue in Post Falls following a dinner with her sister in Spokane. She died just a few hours after her older brother, Ivan Cook of Whitman County, Wash., also died. Their funerals were held the same day. She was 80, Ivan was 91.
Neva Cook Hargrave was a farm girl from the cradle to the grave. She and seven siblings grew up in Whitman County, the children of Ira and Edith Cook. She maintained close ties with her birth family throughout the years, and her circle of loved ones grew to include 13 grandchildren and 15 great-grandchildren, and many nieces and nephews as well as the family she and her husband, Don Hargrave, raised together. She just couldn’t do enough for them, family members said, always looking for the kindness to perform, a joke to tell, a prank to play or the right words to make a difference in their lives. Along with fresh homemade cookies, they said she could dish up a word of encouragement or a hard dose of reality, whatever was needed. In the summer months, wherever she went, a bouquet of fresh-cut flowers from her own gardens went with her.
The Hargraves were married in St. John, Wash., just a couple of months before her high school graduation in 1945. Her husband was a sawmill worker who wanted to raise dairy cattle, and the young couple soon moved to Fighting Creek, where he found work and began to build a herd on leased land. In 1956, they were able to purchase their own 15 acres north of Post Falls. They built a home, added to their acreage and their Holstein herd. They raised six children – three boys, three girls – and worked hard, finding fulfillment in the “good life” down on the farm.
In their 62 years together the Hargraves had the opportunity to do a lot of camping with their Good Sams club friends, as well as take some memorable trips on their own or with their children. The camping trips and “Samborees” were usually within a day’s drive, but their trips farther afield included Washington, D.C., and Nashville, Tenn., and an Alaskan cruise. Near or far they created a lifetime of happy memories. They went through a pickup camper, a fifth-wheel, and three motor homes in their wanderings. She served as navigator, Don drove, and they always made it back home, declaring their partnership with “NEVADON” license plates.
Fishing trips were cause for celebration, and Neva usually “outfished” everyone else on the boat. She was undaunted and game to try anything, even deep-sea fishing off the coast.
Neva Hargrave held a variety of jobs during her long life in North Idaho, working as a shipping manager for General Instrument, a server in the Post Falls school lunch program, and even a stint as an early-morning delivery person for The Spokesman-Review. Her route took her north, through Rathdrum and Spirit Lake. The cold, icy winter driving in the wee hours was not for the faint of heart.
Don and Neva worked the farm together, planting, harvesting, milking, gathering eggs or plucking chickens, and feeding the livestock. She enjoyed raising sheep alongside her husband’s dairy cows. Fresh milk was sold from the cooler on the back porch, on the honor system, for many years. She worked with her children in their classrooms and 4-H groups, faithfully attending all the fairs, potlucks, planning meetings, etc., that come with active youth.
The kitchen was her domain, where she was busy preparing meals, baking up some new recipe she’d found, trying some new homemade ice cream flavor, or canning and freezing the produce of her gardens. She put up many bottles of a sweet vegetable medley pickle that no one could equal. But she was never too busy to stop and play a little “Boo! – gotcha” game with one of the grandsons running in from next door, or to decorate a special cake for a birthday or wedding. As the holidays approached she would be found mixing endless batches of candy and popcorn balls, as each of her many relatives and friends would receive their own custom-made package. Nut rolls, divinity and dipped chocolates were her specialties.
For fun, Neva gathered weekly with friends for a good round of pinochle. She relaxed with stacks of Harlequin romances, and traded them back and forth with her sisters. In recent years she learned how to use a computer and e-mail became her tether to loved ones far and wide. Together, she and Don would drive to pick up baked goods and deliver them to area shelters and food banks several times a week. They have been dependable members of the “Bi-State Harvesters” gleaners club for years, picking, distributing, and preserving food that would otherwise go to waste. And if there was anything she hated, it was wastefulness. That, and dishonesty, would really turn her crank.
She was quiet about her health problems as she aged, and didn’t let them keep her from living every day to the fullest. Her home was always a warm one, where welcome was extended to all, and where she has left a legacy of optimism and enthusiasm that truly made a difference in the lives of those who knew her.