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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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Dear Annie 8/27

UPDATED: Wed., Aug. 26, 2020

By Annie Lane Creators Syndicate

Dear Annie: I’ve been with “Robby” for three years. I just moved in with him a few weeks ago, and I’ve been discovering some unpleasant surprises while using his computer. First, I found some racy photos saved on his hard drive. Then, I saw in his browser history that he’d been on dating sites and saw that he’d been emailing with people from dating websites, too. I asked him about it. He denies having done any of that and says he doesn’t know how that stuff got on his computer and email. But the proof is right there. I don’t know what to do. I don’t trust him, but I love him so much. Please help me. – So Confused and Hurt

Dear So Confused: Is it possible someone has planted been logging onto his computer and planting incriminating photos and emails? Theoretically, sure. But it’s incredibly unlikely. And it’s no wonder you’re confused; Robby has done nothing to help you understand. Unless and until he can tell you the truth and work to make it right by you, start packing those boxes back up.

Dear Annie: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for two years now. We each have children from prior marriages. We have a good relationship, but he is such a momma’s boy – which is OK, to a certain point, but in his case, it seems excessive. He is in his 40s and still lives with his mother. He’s said he will not leave his mother’s house because she has some health problems and needs him. Yet, she manages to work full time.

I feel as if I’m always competing with his mother. Just one small example: Let’s say he has a stain on his shirt. I’ll say something like, “Shout works well for that.” He’ll say, “Well, my mom said Spray ‘n Wash works better, so I’ll just get that.”

I feel like we will never be able to come together as one family, with my kids and his kids, because he won’t leave his mom’s. He doesn’t come over to my place too often because he’s busy helping her. It’s not like I live hours away from him. It’s only 30 minutes.

Several times now, I’ve asked him about moving in with me, and all he says is, “I’m not moving right now.” What should I do: Stick it out or leave him and his mama? – Girlfriend to a Momma’s Boy

Dear Girlfriend: It’s noble of your boyfriend to care so much for his mother. It’s understandable of you to be frustrated that he’s less available to you. Neither of you is wrong. But you might be wrong for each other. Caring for his mom is at the top of his list of priorities. If you were able to talk him out of that, he’d resent you for it. So, if it isn’t working now, it might never work for you.

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