Dear Annie: Missing a personal identification

Dear Annie: My first cousin died two weeks ago, but not one of her siblings called to tell me or any of my sisters the news. Two of the cousin’s siblings have my phone number because I sent them a family Christmas newsletter with my phone number and email in the letter. I finally saw my cousin’s obituary on Facebook. I am beyond hurt that the cousins did not personally telephone to tell of the sad news. The cousin who died was 72 years old, but in failing health for years.

Am I wrong to be hurt and disappointed my family did not get a phone call? – Deeply Hurt in PA

Dear Deeply Hurt: Feelings aren’t right or wrong; they just are. It’s what we do with them that matters. In this case, I think you ought to try setting aside your feelings for a moment to consider your cousins’. They’re hurting, too. They just lost their dear sister. Their forgetting to tell you was not intentional. Grief has a way of wreaking havoc on short-term memory. Reach out to them in love, not in anger, and join them in remembering your cousin. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Dear Annie: You’ve posted several letters from people about asking for help with grocery shopping. Our grocery had already implemented ordering ahead and picking up your groceries. Since the pandemic, almost all groceries have offered this service. It is something to think about whether there is a pandemic or not. I know that the very people who need it most are sometimes not technically able to order online, but surely the kids or a neighbor could place the order for them. Then picking up would be simple. Please think about this if you need help. I am grateful to have my ex-daughter-in-law who can pick up groceries for me sometimes. – Lucky in Louisville

Dear Lucky: Thank you for writing. Grocery delivery or curbside pickup is a great option; many stores offered these services before the pandemic and they will continue to do so afterward.