Dear Annie 11/9

Dear Annie: I have two very good friends who I go to breakfast with every Saturday. We are part of a monthly book club; we exercise together three times a week; and we attend the theater together, for which we have season tickets.

They are both widows. My husband, thank goodness, is still alive and healthy. Lately, I have been getting vibes that they are trying to replace me with another widow. I have said no to invites to different places, such as craft shows, that I really didn’t want to attend. But now they are making plans to go to dinners with another widow, which I found out about just by overhearing the discussion.

They did not ask me to go until I asked them about it, and it is something that I would have loved to do. I hesitate to accept the invite because I don’t know if they really want me along or if they are just being polite.

Am I being overly sensitive? Or do I have reason to be concerned? This is not the first time that this sort of thing has happened. Should I ask them about it or just act like it doesn’t bother me? – Feeling Left Out

Dear Feeling Left Out: No one likes to feel excluded, but once we understand the “why” of why we are not included, it can help ease the hurt feelings. Your friends all lost their husbands, while you have a wonderful husband at home.

Just take that fact in for a moment. Their “taking in” or including another widow has nothing to do with whether they like you or not and everything to do with the fact that they understand the pain of losing a husband and want to express empathy to their fellow widow.

Confronting them about it would not be beneficial. Focus on being grateful that they are your friends and that you have fun with them.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.