Dear Annie: I’ve been very happily married for several years to a man I love deeply. Suddenly, his son from a previous marriage, who lives in another state, wants Dad to move to his state to be close to him, as he and his wife are planning a family. His son and I have never been close.
My husband works for himself and has a major client – a very attractive woman whom he talks to online several times a week – in his son’s city. After doing some “homework,” I discovered the state we would be moving to is not a community property state … our current state is.
My husband has all the money in this marriage,, as I left my career behind to tend to his business, home and family, and his son gets everything that I won’t in the event of a death or divorce.
Being currently married, do I have any recourse, such as a post-marriage “prenup,” to make sure I’m OK financially if we move and my stepson and this businesswoman break us up? – Worried in Wyoming
Dear Worried: You say you are “very happily married” to a man you “love deeply.” Why would a female client or a son who wants his children to know their grandfather change that?
Based on your letter, it seems like your husband has honored the commitment he made to you on your wedding day. By assuming the worst, you may be causing yourself undue anxiety.
The first thing you should do is communicate with your husband about where these fears are coming from – perhaps they are being triggered by anxiety about the move and the life changes that surround it.
If you are genuinely concerned about your assets in the event of a divorce, consult an attorney. I would not assume that “his son gets everything”; in fact, such an outcome is unlikely.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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