Dear Annie 12/19

Dear Annie: I always read the stories sent to you by your readers, and I have always wanted to write you. Now is the time.

It breaks my heart to see my older brother living in the streets due to his drinking problem. He is 36 and was married for 14 years and has four kids. He lost his family because he is an alcoholic. He does not want to work, and when he has to work out of necessity, he always quits the job after a few weeks.

We’ve all helped him in many ways, but he refuses to help himself. He won’t get help and says he is able to stop drinking on his own, but he never does. It breaks my heart to see my mom suffer like she is by looking at how my brother is losing his life. I wish I could help him more, but he never appreciates what we do for him. Are we doing a bad thing by not bringing him to our house while he is not working and always drunk? I just need advice, please. – Feeling Helpless Sister

Dear Sister: No, you are not doing a bad thing at all. In fact, you are being loving. The worst thing you could do is to enable his disease. But keep on loving him. Tell him that once he gets clean and sober, he will be welcomed with open arms into your house.

You are not alone. There is a group created to help family and friends live with the fact that someone they love is either an addict or alcoholic. It’s called Al-Anon. You can see the letter that follows is from a fan. It has helped countless people better understand the disease. I hope that the meetings bring comfort and answers to you and your mom.

Dear Annie: How come you never suggest Al-Anon for friends and families of those with drinking problems? – It Works for Me

Dear Works for Me: I recommend Al-Anon all the time – and have for years. Congratulations on your success.

Dear Annie: Just wanted to let you know that I thoroughly enjoyed your Thanksgiving Day column of poems. They were very uplifting and helped me to remember the real reason of Thanksgiving. I’m grateful to you for giving me the opportunity to read your column. Thank you! – In Gratitude

Dear Gratitude: Thank you so much for your kind words.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology – featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation – is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.