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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Dear Annie 6/11

By Annie Lane Creators Syndicate

Dear Annie: I have been with my fiance for the last five years. We have a child together, and she is going on 2 years old. Well, when our child was four months old, my fiance quit his job due to his health, and I went back to work full time. It’s been over a year now, and he’s been cleared to work. But he hasn’t. He hasn’t even attempted to find a job.

In order to make sure our bills are paid, I have had to take on two full-time jobs. I’m exhausted all the time. I try talking to him, but he always says he will look, and he does but gives up very fast. He complains I’m never home. He complains that I go to bed too early. But what do you expect? I work over 80 hours a week!

I try to give him as much of a break from our child as I can when I get home, but I am starting to resent him a bit. I never have any time to work on anything. I need advice. What do I do? I know he has underlying depression but won’t seek help. – About to Lose My Mind

Dear About to Lose: You’re in the middle of the ultimate lose-lose-lose situation. Your fiance isn’t just failing to provide financially for the family; he’s also nowhere near the right headspace to be a partner or father, either. You, the sole breadwinner, are beyond exhausted, growing bitter and missing out on the joys of being a mom because you’re holding up everything around you. Added together, it equals bad news for your daughter, who deserves a functional, loving, fulfilling family life.

After two years of treading water, it’s time for a major sit-down with your fiance. He must start work again immediately, at least something part-time to start, so that you can cut back from two full-time jobs to one. Some type of counseling is a must for you both, to tackle his depression and to get your marriage back on the right track. You can no longer be the only one fighting for your family. Now, it’s his turn.

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