Dear Annie: I recently moved in with my sister, who is two years older than me. We got into a fight recently because, while she is an extroverted, warm and beautiful person, she has a great deal of personality for me to handle.
She is always talking about anything and everything. I snapped at her when we were coming back from work together and she had spent the entire 30-minute ride talking nonstop about whatever was on her mind.
I’m an introvert and a very quiet person who doesn’t like to be noticed, which is probably the reason why we get along so well most of the time.
Is there a way I can let her know about how this is annoying without hurting her feelings since she is the best person? But honestly, there was even a guy who asked her to keep it down since she also talks very loudly. Any advice will be appreciated.
And thank you so much for all the good work. – Opposite Sisters
Dear Opposite: Acceptance, expectation and communication will help. you two. Focus on the qualities that make your sister “the best person” while at the same time respecting your own boundaries. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert or an extrovert. It’s just a matter of understanding each other and what the other person needs.
A great book for extroverts to better understand introverts is called “Quiet” by Susan Cain. Maybe the two of you could read it together and do a little book club about it. Then maybe you could read a book about extroverts. The point is to get curious about what she needs and for her to get curious about what you need. That way, you can accept the differences in each other more easily.
Let her know if you had a long day at work and need some quiet time; just say that to her in a polite way – that it has nothing to do with her stories or talking, but it is what you need to recharge your system. If she can’t do that, then maybe you can find another ride and recharge on the train or bus quietly. But the most important thing for success is to communicate to her that it doesn’t have anything to do with her; it has to do with how you need to relax and unwind.
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