A Grip on Sports: Though we never learned how to play the piano, we learned long ago how to ruin a tune
A GRIP ON SPORTS • I’m pretty sure the song I rewrote the lyrics for the most while our children were growing up was Billy Joel’s “Piano Man.” It’s simple and it’s sweet and it works in every situation. For example, sometimes I would come home from work and belt out “It’s 6 o’clock on a Wednesday, dad walks through the back door …” Ruined their night. Often. And now I plan to ruin your day.
•••••••
• It works in a sports context as well. Try it. You know the tune. How could you not? It’s been played on the radio incessantly for more than 50 years. It’s one of the great ear worms of all-time.
“Now, Jerry upstairs is a friend of mine, he gets us our players for (nearly) free.
“And he’s quick with a trade or to light up the media, but there is some place he’d rather be.”
See? Easy. There is even a built-in response – and you don’t have to change the lyrics all that much.
“I say, ‘Jerry, I think this is killing me’ as the pennant runs away to Texas.
“ ‘I’m sure we could win a Series, if we could get a couple dollars to spend.’ ”
• It doesn’t just work with the mis-managed Mariners, who are an easy target.
Last night one of the more interesting basketball players to ever pass through the Inland Northwest, former Eastern Washington and Washington State standout Cedric Coward, heard his name called 11th in the first round of the NBA draft.
He got to stand up, hug everyone, smile and walk toward commissioner Adam Silver on the stage. On the way, he put on the Portland Trail Blazers hat the NBA provided and wore it during the most-memorable photos of his life.
Except he’s never going to spend a minute with the Blazers, the team whose pick was announced. Why? They had already worked a deal with Memphis, where another former Cougar, Jaylen Wells, starred last season. And Coward wasn’t alone. Ten of the 30 first-round picks were traded Wednesday night.
“Now Cedric is intriguing wing, who is on his way to Ja Morant land.
“And he’s talkin’ with Adam, whose still is asleep, and probably will be for life.”
Thankfully, ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt pointed out the stupidity of the hat practice later in the evening. That might even wake up Silver enough to allow picks who have been part of a proposed trade to wear the correct hat.
Too late for Coward, though. And too late to fix the slip of the tongue from ESPN’s Malika Andrews. The Portland graduate called Coward the name of another celebrity that attended Eastern, Colin Cowherd. And made me laugh.
• It’s also getting late for the Pac-12 – in one sense. Sure, the conference has a while before it has to tell the NCAA who its eighth football-playing member will be. The school is needed for the Pac-12 to keep its status. But whomever it invites – cough, Texas State, cough – probably has a hard deadline to inform its old conference to avoid a stiffer exit penalty. In the Bobcats’ case, that cutoff date with the Sun Belt is June 30.
How would Joel have put it?
“And they sit at the bar, put bread in the Sun Belt’s jar and wonder, ‘man, what are we still doin’ here?’ ”
• The Big Sky Conference understands defections. It’s been a stepping stone for years. Boise State. Gonzaga. Idaho. Southern Utah. Now Sacramento State. Schools that once were members and left for what they thought were greener – as in money – pastures. It’s worked out for some. Not for others. It hasn’t stopped schools from bailing though, with the Hornets’ current quixotic quest for FBS membership shows.
The NCAA has turned down Sacramento State’s petition for an immediate membership waiver, as the Hornets wanted to move up in 2026 without a mandatory conference invite. That doesn’t matter to school president Dr. Luke Wood, who yesterday proclaimed his football team will play in the FBS anyway then. Whatever. The Big Sky isn’t waiting to move on. Its commissioner, Tom Wistrcill, announced Wednesday the 2026 addition of Utah Tech and, yep, Southern Utah, who left for the WAC three years ago.
“It’s a pretty good crowd for a Saturday, and the Big Sky presidents give Tom a smile.
“Because they know it’s his tune the fans have been coming to hum, and forget about the FBS for a while.
“Oh, la, la-la, di-dee-da, la-la, di-dee-da, da-dum.”
• OK, just to be clear, I never said they were going to be good lyrics.
•••
WSU: Coward’s selection, and ultimate destination, was unclear heading into Wednesday’s first round. All that seemed certain was he was going to join a pretty decent list of Cougars who have been drafted recently. Greg Woods delves into all of that in this coverage. We linked the story above as well. … Once again, we love to say recruiting never stops. Washington State added to its 2026 football class and Greg has that story as well. … The Cougar women will be playing in a Thanksgiving tournament this fall. That news leads off the S-R’s latest local briefs column. … Elsewhere in the (current, old and future) Pac-12 and the nation, Jon Wilner takes a look in the Mercury News at how Cal will handle the revenue sharing era. … John Canzano takes a look at a bunch of subjects. … Oregon has lost a few football targets lately. No matter. The Ducks just keep recruiting. … So does Colorado. … Arizona quarterback Noah Fifita enjoyed his Manning Passing Academy experience. … San Diego State seems happy with its recruiting class. … In basketball news, the NCAA is going to let Division I teams play one more game in 2026-27. … An Italian import is expected to give the Colorado men a sporty new look. … Utah State’s summer workouts start early in the day. … Arizona had a first-round pick in the NBA draft. Again. … Colorado State also had one this year. … Oregon State is losing another baseball player to the portal. This one started for the Beavers.
Gonzaga: Mark Few stood in front of the Riverfront Park crowd last night and gave an acceptance speech for his Hooptown Hall of Fame induction. Also being honored was Don Monson’s 1981-82 Idaho basketball team, which mean Monson and his son Dan, the current EWU coach, were in attendance. That was important to Few. He recounted how he got into college more than 30 years ago. And gave credit where credit was due. “I basically owe my whole career to the Monson family for getting me started in this.” That tidbit and a bunch of others are sprinkled throughout Theo Lawson’s story on the event. … Elsewhere in the WCC, USF is dealing with court cases related to its baseball program.
EWU and Idaho: We linked Dan Thompson’s story above on the Big Sky’s expansion plan. We link it again here. It’s important. How do we know? There are stories from around the conference as well as a long media release.
Indians: Spokane made it two consecutive wins in Hillsboro, topping the Hops 8-1.
Mariners: George Kirby was good. But the Twins’ Joe Ryan was great, especially considering how well the M’s had been hitting going into Wednesday night’s game. Ryan and the Minnesota bullpen led the way in a 2-0 victory over the visiting Mariners. … The pitcher who stepped on the mound first for the M’s on April 6, 1977 has died. Diego Segui, whose son David also played for the franchise, passed yesterday. … Where will the M’s land among its peers as the trade deadline draws nearer?
Sonics: Cooper Flagg was the surprising No. 1 choice by the Mavericks. Hah. It was ordained ages ago. The rest of the first round? With all the trades and the occasional long fall for one of the green room residents, it was pretty typical.
Seahawks: Seattle needed cornerback depth. Shaquill Griffin needed a place to land. Bingo. The two are together again, as the corner agreed to a one-year deal as a free agent. … The Hawks had to trade Russell Wilson. They had no other choice. That much is clear now that his demands have become public.
Storm: We linked this Mike Vorel column about Caitlin Clark’s shooting slump when it ran in the Times. It is on the S-R site today. … Others have thoughts on Clark’s recent shooting woes.
•••
• I hate making mistakes, though they seem to happen more often as I’ve aged. I made one yesterday. Screwed up a fact I should have known well. Heck, I covered the game I messed up. One alert reader gave me a heads up and I fixed it. Acknowledged the fix online. It’s what I do when there is a factual error. And thanks Jason. I’ll try to do better. … By the way, the root canal was put off. The doc was behind, the work is going to be extensive and it was getting late. A reprieve. Until mid-July. Until later …