Marry For Love; Help Friend Out
Dear Ann Landers: I am a 76-year-old widow. For 20 years, I’ve been sharing my home with a dear friend who wants to marry me, but I don’t love him. “Stanley” has been good to me, and I appreciate everything he’s done.
Two years ago, I went to a reunion and met the man I was engaged to when I was 18. He has been a widower for 10 years. It was love again at first sight. Since then, “Leopold” has been taking me out to dinner and lunch every couple of weeks. This has caused many arguments with Stanley.
I’ve told Stanley that Leopold is just a friend, but the love affair is hard to disguise. Leopold and I want to get married but have decided we should do it secretly so I don’t hurt Stanley’s feelings. Stanley has no family or close friends and no place to go. I haven’t the heart to ask him to move out.
Is it possible for Leopold and me to marry and not live together? That way, I would be able to collect his pension, which he says will help me later in life. How can I solve this dilemma and not hurt either of these kind men? - California Dilemma
Dear C.D.: Level with Stanley. The sooner the better. Marry Leopold, and ask that Stanley be permitted to remain in the house with the two of you for the time being. There must be some widows you know who would like Stanley. A widow with a nice home would be ideal. Get moving.
Dear Ann Landers: A reader recently asked about the food that is wasted on TV. You said you thought most of the food was fake.
I work in the film industry in Texas. Commercials advertising foods mostly use real food, but it is embellished by “food stylists,” who employ amazing techniques to create more vivid colors and textures.
When you think you are viewing ice cream, it is probably a mixture of lard, powdered sugar and food coloring. Most of the additives used make the food unfit for human consumption. It is dumped into the trash when the film shot is completed. For each plate of food you see in a commercial, 20 were probably used.
The real food featured in commercials that does not require “styling” is given away. The Texas Association of Film/Tape Professionals lists charitable organizations that accept foods and distribute to the homeless. So, now you know. - It’s a Wrap in Texas
Dear Texas: Thanks for giving my readers the inside skinny. From now on, when I see a bowl of chocolate ice cream on a TV commercial, I’m going to think, “That’s a bowl of brown-colored lard topped with whipped cream.”
Dear Ann Landers: My daughter is a freshman at a college that has no curfew, but when “Melanie” comes home, we expect her to behave in a responsible manner. We allow her to take one of our cars anywhere she needs to go, and she can stay overnight at a friend’s anytime she wants. I have, however, asked her to observe a 2 a.m. curfew, and now our relationship is strained. Am I being unreasonable? - Stymied in Calif.
Dear Stymied: It’s unrealistic to have two sets of rules - one for school and one for home. As difficult as it may be, you must adjust to the reality that Melanie is out of the nest for good. Remove the home curfew and accept the fact that you’re going to have some sleepless nights.
xxxx