The Slice Colville Is Even More Impressive That Spokane

Forget Seattle. When bragging about the Spokane area, the sure way to impress people in other parts of the country is to refer to British Columbia’s nearness.

The local equivalent of “I’m going to Disneyland”: Lenny Long said that, for men, it would be “I’m going to Eagle.”

For women, “I’m going to Starbucks.”

Conflicting themes: A friend spotted a Toyota in downtown Spokane sporting two slogans that would seem to be at odds with one another. “I have PMS and I am armed” and “Life is fragile - Handle it with prayer.”

Only around here: We recently overheard a woman complaining about having an eight-mile commute.

Staring down the barrel of a water pistol: We’re declaring Jim Nelson the winner of our Please Don’t Soak Me Contest - you know the one where we asked what movie quote you would use on a little kid who drew a bead on you with a squirt gun. Nelson suggested borrowing the lines from “High Noon” that go something like “If you’re still here Saturday, I’m going to meet you on the main street. And one of us won’t be here long.”

Runner-up Marlene Kamin of Cheney recommended quoting Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz.” You know, “I want to go home.”

Brutal summers: Readers nominated Palm Springs, Yuma, Ariz. and Lebanon, Pa., among other places. Dayle Spahr said the lack of sunshine made parts of Western Washington worthy of mention.

And Pat and Kevin Shelley offered the following characterization of summer in the Deep South: “Picture 105 degrees and 99 percent humidity. The only breeze is from your arms as you swat the hundreds of gnats, flies and mosquitoes swarming around your head. In the distance you hear the low rumble of thunder. Suddenly you’re pelted with golf ball-size hail as you dive into the nearest shelter to escape the tornado bearing down on you.”

But Marcie Lund, almost seven months pregnant, said there can’t be worse summers anywhere than those experienced right here.

Today’s Slice question: When did it become de rigueur for vacationers to wear shorts on airline flights?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Fear of crime around here can’t be considered truly big league until all liquor store clerks work behind bulletproof glass.