Kind Words Most Welcome
Dear Ann Landers: I watched your interview on “Dateline NBC” and was very pleased to hear your comments on homosexuality. You can’t imagine how good it felt to hear a well-respected, intelligent person say on national television, “These people are born this way.”
I am a gay man, 27, who was raised in a good Christian home. I’ve recently “come out” to my family, and they took it pretty well, although my mother is still having a hard time dealing with it. I lied to the people I love the most for years because I was terrified of what would happen if I told them the truth. Fortunately, my family loves me enough to support me.
Ann, how can we educate people to help them understand that this is not a choice? In a book on homosexuality that I recently read, the author quotes a gay person who says, “Why would I choose to be something that horrifies my parents, that my religion condemns, that could ruin my career and could get me killed if I dared walk down the street holding hands with my boyfriend?”
Many people don’t understand how difficult it is for us. They don’t understand how hard most of us have tried to change the way we are. I now know that you cannot change what God has made you.
Ann, the more people like you there are to support us, the easier it will be for us to gain acceptance. God bless you. - Jackie in Dallas
Dear Jackie: Thanks for those kind words. They are especially welcome since I received some severe criticism from homosexuals who are upset with me because I refuse to come out in support of gay marriages.
I learned long ago that it is impossible to please all of the people all of the time. I have quit trying.
Dear Ann Landers: I am so miserable and unhappy. My husband retired in February, and I will retire next year. This man does nothing but go golfing every day and then hang out at the local bar. He never spent time in a bar in our 30 years of marriage, and now, all of a sudden, he’s a regular.
I tried to explain to him how much his behavior is hurting me. A married man with three wonderful sons and two beautiful grandchildren should not be hanging out in a bar. He tells me I am unreasonable.
Ann, my husband does nothing around the house. I get up at 4:30 every morning and don’t get home until 5:30. I thought when he retired he would at least help do the grocery shopping, but he won’t. I even have to take out the garbage.
My husband has ulcers, high blood pressure and high cholesterol and I’m sure drinking all that beer isn’t helping. He used to be such a wonderful man, but he’s turned into a jerk who thinks he only has 10 more years of life left - and he’s trying to cram in 20.
He refuses to go for counseling and I am at my wits’ end. I can’t live like this anymore. Please help me. - White Plains, Md.
Dear White Plains: If “the jerk” won’t listen to you, he surely won’t listen to me. Please hire some household help and make sure your husband’s insurance is paid up.
Gem of the Day: When you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world. - Robert Orben, in the Prairie Rambler
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