If Only You’d Told Us, We’d Have Been Lots Nicer

OK, so we’ve been a little hard on some celebrity folk. Madonna, Sharon Stone, Sonny Bobo… excuse, us, Bono.

Hey, we’re sorry. It’s all part of the job.

Besides, it’s not like these people are real anyway, right?

Think again, sport. Demi Moore begs to differ.

“Sometimes I start to think, is it really worth it? Is what I’m getting worth having to be scrutinized in this way?” she asked in Harper’s Bazaar magazine.

“It feels like… it’s an ache, because they’re attacking your insides, even though they’re basing it on external stuff,” said the wife of Bruce Willis.

“I guess I’ve come to realize that people really don’t know me - don’t know me at all,” she concluded. “They have no clue!”

Loose talk

Christina Applegate (“Married… With Children”) on her new movie, in which she plays a stripper: “It’s a love story, a nice love story NOT a story about a stripper. Please let people know that.”

Reveal the party site and you’re in jeopardy

Alex Trebek turns 57 today.

Afterward, Kiedis wanted to flip him something back

Don’t look for the Red Hot Chili Peppers to be touring for a while. Lead singer Anthony Kiedis crushed his wrist after smashing into a car with his motorcycle. The car driver, who had flipped a u-turn, pulled right in front of Kiedis, who underwent five hours of surgery.

He managed to keep all his friends in stitches

“I loved going to the doctor as a kid,” monster makeup master Rick Baker told Entertainment Weekly. “I’d watch everything he did and he’d give me all the instruments. But I realized at about 10 that I didn’t want to be a regular doctor. I wanted to be Dr. Frankenstein.”

So, she’s back to being his main squeeze

Dudley Moore’s wife No. 4, Nicole, has dropped a lawsuit accusing him of choking and kicking her during their troubled three-year relationship. “He and Mrs. Moore have reconciled and resolved their differences,” a spokesman for the diminuitive actor/comedian/concert pianist said.

But, hey, what about those midnight snacks?

Look for Oprah Winfrey to reveal her weight-loss secrets in a new video, titled “Oprah Winfrey-Make the Connection,” which is due out Sept. 30. A film crew followed the daytime talk-show host from wakeup to bedtime, recording her meals and workouts.

What, you say there’s no big-screen TV? Doh!

Here’s your chance to be a real-life Homer. The producers of “The Simpsons” are giving away a life-size replica of the animated family’s house during the season debut. “It’s definitely an odd contest, but it’s better than winning Mister Ed’s barn,” says executive producer Mike Scully. The house, square footage 2,200, has been built in a planned community called Springfield, near Las Vegas.

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The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster