Put His Name On Reception Card
Dear Ann Landers: My buddy and his wife are divorcing after a fairly long marriage. In the middle of the divorce proceedings, their 30-something daughter decided to get married. “Buddy” asked to be included in the wedding plans and, of course, offered to pay his fair share of the cost. His wife begrudgingly said OK.
I just saw the wedding invitations, and they read as follows: “‘Linda Smith Brown’ requests the honor of your presence at the marriage of her daughter, etc.” No mention of the father.
As well as being a spiteful, vindictive and classless attempt to humiliate the father, is this not a faux pas of the highest magnitude? I thought proper etiquette dictated that a father who has been in regular contact with his child and has lived up to all his parental obligations should be acknowledged on the wedding invitation. What do you say about this, Ann Landers? Sign me - Livid in Lincoln
Dear Livid: What I say doesn’t count for much since I am no authority on wedding etiquette. Here is what Letitia Baldrige says in “The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette”: Invitations are in the name of the parent with whom the bride lives. The father, if he is paying for the reception, has his name on a separate reception card. His participation should be acknowledged, and this is the best way to do it.
Dear Ann Landers: Here’s one more letter on “how we met.” In 1936, I lived in a small town in Southern Illinois. During my second year in college, I came home for Chrismas and got a job in a dime store making 37 cents an hour.
One Saturday night, a friend of mine said her nephew was in town and asked if I would go out with him. I agreed but told her I wasn’t through working until 9:00 and had to be home before midnight. She said OK. I met Walter, and we had a pleasant evening. He was a graduate engineer working at an ice machinery plant in Omaha.
The following summer, Walter visited again, and after five days, he asked me to marry him. I still owed money for college, had a job teaching school and wasn’t sure I should take such a big step.
That November, I had an appendectomy, and Walter drove in from Omaha to hold my hand. That did it. I decided to marry him. On Aug. 20, he arrived by train, and we were married in front of the fireplace in my home.
It is now 59 years later. We have three children, eight grandchildren and six great-grandchildren. We are in good physical condition and able to travel and consider ourselves blessed. - Carol in Hot Springs Village, Ark.
Dear Carol: It’s a beautiful story and especially interesting to me because my father was part-owner of that ice machinery plant in Omaha.
Dear Ann Landers: In April 1995, you printed a column about Women for Sobriety, a self-help organization for women who drink. I wrote them and got a copy of the “New Life” program, which I started using right away. Then, I joined a local group, and my life has been changed forever. My family is back together, and I can’t thank you enough for that information. I hope you will tell others about it.
Anyone who is interested can get a copy of “New Life.” Just send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to Women for Sobriety, P.O. Box 618, Quakertown, Pa. 18951. This program changed my life. - Ann in New York
Dear Ann: Thanks for letting us know. I hope every woman who thinks she drinks “a little too much” (or a lot) will send for it.