Share Kind Words With Living

Dear Ann Landers: Nine years ago, when I had severe health problems, I wrote the following letter to my wife and children, to be opened upon my death. This year, my youngest son was brutally murdered. He never got to read my letter.

We never know what tomorrow might bring. My hope is that your readers will “do it now.” Here is the letter I have written for my remaining children. - No Name in Punta Gorda, Fla.

Dear Friend: I am sure your letter will move my millions of readers as it moved me. Thank you for sending it on. Here it is:

Loved Ones: It is my sincere hope that it will be many years before you read this letter, but none of us knows how much time God has allotted us. Whatever length that may be, I would like to have one last chat with you. Should it be God’s will that your mother and I enter eternity together, I am certain that she will agree with me. Most of what is contained herein we have talked about many times.

To all of you, I ask your forgiveness. Though your mother and I tried to do what we felt was best, it is I who often failed, sometimes miserably. And as hard as I tried (admittedly, not hard enough at times), many of my faults stayed with me. In my later years, I hope that my lack of patience wasn’t as glaring as in earlier times. And perhaps my discipline was too harsh. My intention was only for your welfare. For my other shortcomings, some of which only you were aware, please forgive me.

Each of you children brought your mother and me many joys, moments of pride and happiness. Your mother and I tried our best to guide and encourage you along each step of the way. We are pleased that at least one of you took our words to heart and continued your schooling. Perhaps we should have been more insistent, but then, higher education does not always guarantee anything except, perhaps, a smoother road in life. In any case, I urge you all to add up your many blessings and thank the Lord.

Perhaps my greatest disappointment was that you all took the fourth commandment so lightly. While your dad was admittedly not the greatest in the world, your mother certainly was a most extraordinary woman. I regret that you did not let her know that she was one in a million. Please let her know now how much she is appreciated. Show her your love, and encourage your children to do so also.

And it is to my faithful, wonderful wife that I address this paragraph. Thank you, sweetheart, for the many years of happiness you have given me. As I have often told you, I deeply appreciated your beauty, both inside and out. You have been the perfect wife who has stood by my side through these many years, which have passed too quickly. You have been my comforter in trying times. I just wish that I could have been a greater help to you and fulfilled your every wish in life. I am thankful for what I could provide for you, but you, sweetheart, deserved much more. Thank you for your sweet smiles, loving understanding, kindness, tender care, faithful love, great sense of humor, comforting words and forgiveness. You have been the perfect companion in my journey through life.

In closing, again I ask all of you for your forgiveness of my shortcomings. As you know, the final arrangements have been made and are simple. In death, there is little of value to leave behind, except kind words and deeds. This phrase sums it up: One kind word said to the living is worth more than a million tears shed over the grave. I ask that you strengthen your faith and rest assured that we shall all come together again in eternity.

My love to all of you. - Dad