Be Sure To Order That In A Dirty Glass

A marmot wearing a “Growth Management” button walks into a bar and asks for a double Spokane.

“What’s that?” asks the bartender.

“It’s just like a regular Spokane,” says the marmot. “Only there’s twice as much of it and it makes you forget why you’re here.”

Whenever we hear accounts of skiing accidents: We think of a guy we wrote about back in 1996, the one who suffered a sliced scrotum during an ill-fated run. And we hope his luck has improved.

The Northern Palouse Ag Trades Referral Data Base: That’s what we call the display of business cards at The Harvester restaurant in Spangle.

For the record: E. P. Wittau and several others wrote to defend those books about specific last names.

Don’t Bach the Jukebox: Well, another Northwest Bach Festival has come and gone. And headline writers searching for new ways to capture the excitement can take a rest.

But one of our colleagues has already come up with a headline he’d like to see next year when the festival once again inhabits The Met. “If it’s Bachin’, Don’t Bother Knockin’.”

Slice answers: After we asked how someone from around here could wind up on the cover of the National Enquirer, we heard from a dozen or so readers who essentially said the same thing. “Having intimate relations with the president,” said Anna Geyer and others.

Sigh. We never thought we’d feel nostalgic about UFO probe-fests.

Pronunciation wars: Prompted by the discussion about the proper way to say “Coeur d’Alene,” John Waters took pen in hand. “What is really bad, and something that strikes a Frenchman as incredible, is NEZZ PURSE,” he wrote. “Correct pronunciation is NAY PERSAY. But that, one never hears.”

It came in through the pet door: It was no big deal for Laurie Anderson to see her cat, Katmandu, come in through the pet door. But they had to have a serious talk after Katmandu brought in and released a live bat.

Slice shopper’s service: A reader named Jackie has a little problem.

Late last year, she found a foot stool on rollers that she considered buying for her daughter. But when she decided to go back and purchase it, she couldn’t find the store.

She has been up and down North Division looking for it. But it’s as if the place has vanished like the Scottish village in “Brigadoon.”

Today’s Slice question: In the Spokane area, what’s the surest sign that someone has taken to heart the words “dare to dream”?

, DataTimes MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Stop thinking about speed-skaters’ legs.