Try Counseling For Just One Son
Dear Ann Landers: I have a 16-year-old son who is a real handful. He lies, smokes pot, is rude and has no respect for anyone. “Matt” does poorly in school and is a behavior problem. To be honest, a lot of the time, he’s just downright mean. But he can also be sweet, funny and loving.
Our home has been a constant battleground for the past few years. My husband and my 18-year-old son cannot stand Matt. We’ve tried family counseling, but all three of them think the others are wrong, and no amount of reasoning seems to make one bit of difference.
My husband has been pushing me to send Matt to live with a distant relative, but I just can’t do it. I feel that the boy is still a member of this family, and I am trying desperately to hold us together. I get sick to my stomach when they are all at home because of the constant bickering, blaming, pushing and shoving. I can’t take any more of this.
I know you can’t help me, Ann, but can you just tell me that it won’t always be this way? I am - Losing It in Longwood, Fla.
Dear Longwood: Try another counselor - not joint this time, just Matt. A 16-year-old who behaves this way is very unhappy and wants desperately to get out from under the misery. Please let me know how he’s doing. I feel for the kid.
Dear Readers: The issue of elderly drivers simply will not die. Here’s a letter that I feel compelled to share. It says it all:
Dear Ann Landers: Recently, an 85-year-old couple in New Jersey left their home for a five-minute drive to the doctor’s office. They wandered aimlessly for 24 hours (more than 700 miles) around New Jersey and Pennsylvania, stopping only for gas, before they were picked up by the police and taken to a hospital for observation. They even crossed a toll bridge without asking for directions, still believing they were on a five-minute trip to the doctor. It was so bizarre, it made the network TV news.
How was it possible for these people to renew their licenses year after year, with no more than an eye exam? I know of elderly drivers who have glaucoma, cataracts and the onset of Alzheimer’s, and they are still sitting behind the wheel of a car with valid licenses, bragging about the fact that they have never had an accident. Only the good Lord knows how many accidents they have caused.
I have seen a few of these elderly folks slam on the brakes because they thought a car almost a block away was in front of them. I have also seen them turn into driveways because they thought they were street corners. Just today, I witnessed a white-haired woman driving 30 mph in the passing lane of a 65 mph interstate.
It’s high time every state in the union passed legislation that required a complete road test before a renewal was granted, beginning at age 70, and an eye exam by an optometrist at the Department of Motor Vehicles so the local friendly physician cannot give them a wink and a free pass. - New Rochelle, N.Y.
Dear New Rochelle: I believe your suggestions are good ones and could save lives, but they don’t stand a chance of the proverbial snowball in hell.
The seniors in our country have a strong lobby and an amazing amount of clout. They don’t want these restrictions and would fight any kind of legislation that might deprive them of their right to drive. Driving means freedom and independence, and they are not going to give it up.