This Chicken Bleu It
High school prom season always brings back memories of my own prom.
Two memories, in particular: the white buckled shoes I wore (which went smashingly with the white pants and tie, and blue blazer and shirt), and the chicken Kiev that I ate for the first time at the pre-prom country-club dinner. (Some of the butter sauce inside the chicken probably ended up on those pants, but I don’t remember that.)
So it seemed appropriate to serve The Spokesman-Review’s reader food panel some supermarket chicken Kievs for comparison purposes - except we could only find one brand.
Instead, we went with three renditions of chicken cordon bleu. Let’s just pretend that I had that before my prom. (And that I wore tasteful earth tones.)
We thought the ham-and-cheese-stuffed chicken breasts would be a treat for panel members. Instead, by evening’s end, they were singing an old Steve Goodman song (which, to the best of my recollection, wasn’t played at my prom): the “Chicken Cordon Blues.”
There was variety - a regular frozen version from Tyson, a low-fat frozen offering from Barber Foods and fresh, ready-to-bake breasts from Albertson’s “Quick Fixin’ Ideas” line. But panelists found little to choose among them, except price.
Albertson’s, the cheapest, was the only one without breading; unfortunately, there wasn’t much filling or flavor, either. Tyson’s attempt was dubbed similarly bland.
And the skinny Barber birds looked promising, with herbed breading, but the chicken was rubbery and the flavor lacking.
Feeling rather fancy, we accompanied the poultry by pouring a trio of fake, alcohol-free chardonnays. (We couldn’t sneak the real stuff past our corporate chaperones, plus we have an innocent high-school senior on the panel.)
The hands-down winner was a surprisingly crisp, refreshing wine-wannabe from Inglenook, which assures on the label that the alcohol was “gently removed.” (No alcohol molecules were harmed in the making of this beverage …)
Sutter Home’s sweetish Fre, which reminded some panelists of a sports drink, finished a distant second. Solidly in last place was the highest-priced selection, a smoky, sharptasting sipper from Ariel, which boasts that it’s the “only dealcoholized wine to win a gold medal against wines with alcohol.” (We’d hate to see the silver.)
As for what kind of wine I had after my prom, I really don’t remember. Except I think it might have come from a farm or something.
Albertson’s Quick Fixin’ Ideas Meal Entrees, Chicken Cordon Bleu
Price: $2.99 per pound.
Nutrition: none provided.
Taste: **
Value: ***
Comments: “Very flavorful chicken; couldn’t taste anything else, though. It lacks the cordon bleu.” - Rob Jasperson
“If you are expecting chicken cordon bleu, you’ll be disappointed … chicken cordon blah!” - Beverly Smick
Tyson Chicken Cordon Bleu
Price: $3.89 for 12 ounces (2 servings).
Nutrition: 350 calories (46 percent fat calories); 640 milligrams sodium per serving.
Taste: **
Value: **
Comments: “The chicken was moist, but the other ingredients were dry and sticky. The cheese reminded me of library paste.” - Lisa Arsenault
“There is something about food that is perfectly shaped and formed. This looks like it came from one of the X-Files.” - Tina Johnson
Barber Foods Light Chicken Cordon Bleu
Price: $3.99 for 10 ounces (2 servings).
Nutrition: 180 calories (25 percent fat calories); 790 milligrams sodium per serving.
Taste: **
Value: *
Comments: “Looks appealing, but the taste leaves you wanting (not more).” - Angela Roth
“A huge rush of terrible flavors.” - Rich Clemson
Inglenook St. Regis Vineyards Chardonnay-Blanc Non-Alcoholic Wine
Price: $5.29 for 750 milliliters, or 3 (8-ounce) servings.
Nutrition: 60 calories (no fat); 10 milligrams sodium per serving.
Taste: ****
Value: ****
Comments: “Clean and crisp. Very nice flavors of grapes. Slightly sweet. No aftertaste. Accompanies food nicely.” - Vicki Deschaine
“My first official wine - tastes good!” - Nate Swinton (our resident teen)
Sutter Home Fre Alcohol-Free 1997 Chardonnay
Price: $5.19 for 750 milliliters, or 3 (8-ounce) servings.
Nutrition: 60 calories (no fat); 15 milligrams sodium per serving.
Taste: **
Value: **
Comments: “Wine-flavored KoolAid without the sugar.” - Beverly Smick
“This has an odd, lingering aftertaste. It’s not terrible, but it doesn’t taste much like wine, so why not just save some money and have juice?” - Catherine Lunt Greer
Ariel 1997 Chardonnay Premium Dealcoholized Wine
Price: $8.99 for 750 milliliters, or 3 (8-ounce) servings.
Nutrition: 51 calories (no fat); 17 milligrams sodium per serving.
Taste: *
Value: *
Comments: “Yucccckk!! Please take this off the market. Poor quality and terrible smell. Overpriced!” - Rob Jasperson
“A `wine’ for those who smoke - a stale cigarette and drink all in one.” - Tina Johnson