Yield Space To Avoid Car Accident
Dear Miss Manners: Recently we have had discussions with other drivers concerning who got a parking space. We have followed the general rule that if a driver was waiting for a parking space to be vacated or was maneuvering to enter an already vacant space, the space belonged to that driver.
Questions have arisen, however, when we were maneuvering to enter a space and another driver managed to pull in ahead of us, or when we entered a space that another driver shortly thereafter claimed.
Upon consistently finding ourselves on the losing end of both sides of this argument, we adopted the policy that we would allow a driver who was maneuvering into or waiting for a space to have that space. But if we did not notice any car waiting for a space where we proceeded to park, and a driver suddenly appeared and claimed to have been waiting for the space, that we would refuse to move.
What is your view on this dilemma?
Gentle reader: Miss Manners cannot find fault with the theoretical part of your argument, which is no more than the first-come-first-served principle to which good-thinking people subscribe.
She does have trouble with the idea of your firmly adhering to the practice because she dislikes the sound of crunching metal. If there is any time not to insist on one’s rights, it is when both sides have the illusion of being safely ensconced in protective armor.
Dear Miss Manners: I understand that when one agrees to be part of the wedding party, one agrees to whatever the bride decides. Since I live out of state, I purchased my dress over the phone and several months later received it.
To be blunt, the dress is utterly awful. It is a “special occasions prom dress” that is incredibly revealing. I usually wear a size 6, but feel like a whale and naked in this dress.
I finally decided that I would make the best of it and smile my best smile as I walked down the aisle. However, my friend has put me on the spot by asking what I think about the dress. I was content to just wear it without offering an opinion, but she has pressed me. How do I proceed?
And how do I handle feeling that she completely disregarded what the bridesmaids might feel comfortable wearing and spending quite a bit of money on? Does the bride not have some responsibility to think of the bridesmaids when she makes this decision?
Gentle reader: She is your friend, not Miss Manners, and in spite of your plea for consideration, you both seem to subscribe to the unfortunate and mistaken idea that brides are endowed with the power of dictatorship.
At an earlier stage, you might reasonably have voiced polite and mild objections to the dress or, for that matter, to being a bridesmaid. To resolve to make the best of it all the way down the aisle, only to yield to the temptation to tell the bride that you will feel like a naked whale, is unconscionable. Surely you can manage an evasive answer, such as, “Everything will be lovely, but you’re going to look so beautiful and radiant that nobody’s going to look at us no matter what we wear.”
Dear Miss Manners: My husband has told our granddaughters that they should wear their watches on their right hand, and I say they should wear them on their left hand. Who’s right?
Gentle reader: Although Miss Manners must disappoint you both, she would like to take the opportunity to congratulate you. You must have extraordinarily well-behaved granddaughters if this is all you can think of to teach them.
It is true that etiquette has some arcane rules about watch-wearing, such as the one against wearing a visible timepiece in the evening to avoid seeming to ration your social time. However, it has never managed to work up an interest in which wrist is used. Most right-handed people seem to choose the left wrist, but that is a rare matter that etiquette leaves to choice, and grandparents might want to do the same.