‘False Alarm’ Will Have You Laughing
“False Alarm” (Creative Arts, 191 pages, $14.95) by Heather Drohan.
In crafting her novel “False Alarm,” Heather Drohan has borrowed a bit, as all writers tend to do.
She’s taken material from her own life as a CPA, a wife, a mother of two, a dog owner, etc. Even more, though she might not be aware of it, she’s borrowed from the frenetic tone and general themes first put forth in Sue Kaufman’s groundbreaking 1970 novel “Diary of a Mad Housewife.”
Taking up where Kaufman left off, Drohan gives us a heroine for the new century. Her protagonist, Kate, is a woman who wants everything but who strongly suspects that such a fantasy can never happen.
Even so, she’s not willing to settle for less.
Kate works for a Seattle-based money-management firm that specializes in professional athletes. She strives to be “one of the boys,” but she works twice as hard for half the recognition.
At home, her attorney husband is in the process of, at age 35, quitting his big-firm position and becoming - get this - a fireman. Her children split time between home and their nanny, a native El Salvadoran with bad kitchen skills and an inordinate fear of dogs who, nevertheless, tends to feed Kate’s dog jalapenos that make it ill.
On top of everything else, Kate’s mother is getting remarried, Kate herself is the focus of a pro football player/potential client’s not-completely unwanted attentions, she’s been mugged, had her purse stolen, begun therapy and her milk-laden breasts keep needing to be pumped.
Oh, and did I mention that she thinks she’s coming down with multiple sclerosis?
It’s clear that life, for Kate, is an ongoing challenge. It’s just as clear that author Drohan is capable of presenting serious concerns in a manner that is as frenzied as it is hilarious.
Drohan, 35, was raised in Spokane. Like her character, she graduated from Lewis and Clark High School and the University of Washington. “False Alarm” is her first novel.
As such, the book shows some typical problems associated with first efforts. The novel wavers whenever Drohan turns away from Kate’s point of view, which - to be fair - is only occasionally. And her character portraits, the therapist especially, sometimes border on cliche.
Furthermore, “False Alarm” takes a while to get into. Drohan doesn’t waste a whole lot of space on exposition; you’re expected to catch up as you read along, and it takes effort.
But once Drohan’s blend of characters, setting and plot kicks in, the comedy does, too. Kate’s life may never function the way she wants, but it’s likely to function in a way that she needs.
Meanwhile, we’re the ones left laughing.
This sidebar appeared with the story: READING/SIGNING Heather Drohan
Heather Drohan will read from and/or sign copies of her novel, “False Alarm,” at 3 p.m. Friday at the Lincoln Heights Hastings, at 7:30 p.m. Friday at Auntie’s Bookstore, at 10:30 a.m. Saturday at WaldenBooks (Spokane Valley Mall) and at 1 p.m. Sunday at Barnes & Noble (east of the Spokane Valley Mall).