‘That ‘70s Show’ well beyond prime
We had to put our cat to sleep last week. Tallulah was nearly 20 years old, deaf, toothless, incontinent and riddled with some kind of nasty tumors.
It was, as they say, time. In retrospect it was perhaps well past time.
Neither Tallulah nor her demise have anything to do with television, but I couldn’t help thinking of her long, sad decline as I watched the eighth season premiere of “That 70s Show” (8 p.m., Fox). After all, this comedy has been kept alive by artificial means for some years now.
Despite it’s often crude dialogue consisting largely of one-liners about sex and stoners, one couldn’t help liking this show. Its cast was arguably the best in network comedy.
And now at least two members of this strong ensemble have gone on to better things. Topher Grace (“Traffic”) and his character Erik have already departed. Ashton Kutcher’s (“Punk’d”) dim Kelso is being phased out.
But they are not the only performers to have long outgrown this series.
Mila Kunis (the spoiled Jackie) and Laura Prepon (the cool Donna) have become more attractive and more accomplished with each passing season. If there is any silver lining to watching this show collapse around itself, it’s the fact that they get more screen time.
Here’s to a long career for both actresses.
As all ailing shows must, “That ‘70s Show” will introduce new characters to replace departed favorites. It’s not giving away too much here to reveal that Hyde (Danny Masterson) will hire “a new guy” for his pot-den record store.
He’s Randy (Josh Meyers). Did I mention he was the new guy?
The most grievous symptom of a show’s creative rigor mortis is the onset of terminal guest-star-itis. “Will & Grace” has been wracked with this syndrome for some years now.
But the upcoming guests on “That ‘70s Show” also exhibit a secondary symptom: a festering case of insiderism. Bruce Willis will grace the show sometime this month.
As any tabloid reader knows, he is the former husband of Demi Moore, now romantically linked to Kutcher.
Speaking of Moores, Mary Tyler Moore will also appear in an episode sometime in 2006. She may not be connected to cast gossip, but “70s” is shot on the same soundstage as the old “Mary Tyler Moore Show.” Isn’t that special?
Eight seasons is an eternity on network television. There are plenty of classic comedies that have never reached that milestone.
The folks at Fox should do the decent thing and put this sad, old cat to sleep.
Other highlights
Angie can’t talk about her troubles on “E-Ring” (8 p.m., NBC).
A brazen shooter kills by day on “Criminal Minds” (9 p.m., CBS).
The teams tangle to sell a new stain-removal product on “The Apprentice: Martha Stewart” (9 p.m., NBC). Try to contain your excitement.
The same, old thing on a brand new season of “Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy” (9 p.m., Fox).
Secrets of the hatch emerge on “Lost” (9 p.m., ABC).
A tycoon’s fateful elevator ride on “CSI: NY” (10 p.m., CBS).
A violent, abusive mother may have been murdered by a jail matron on a mission on “Law & Order” (10 p.m., NBC).
A car accident endangers Larkin’s unborn child on “Invasion” (10 p.m., ABC).
Cult choice
A young man (Timothy Hutton) uses graffiti to avenge his brother and shame corrupt politicians in the 1985 comedy “Turk 182!” (7 p.m., Fox Movie Channel). A depiction of New York City before it became a gilded shopping mall, this film sports an interesting supporting cast, featuring Robert Urich, Kim Cattrall, Robert Culp, Darren McGavin, Steven Keats, Peter Boyle and Paul Sorvino.
Series notes
Casino madness on “Still Standing” (8 p.m., CBS) … A game of chicken on “George Lopez” (8 p.m., ABC) … Tyra Banks hosts “America’s Next Top Model” (8 p.m., UPN) … Practice resumes on “One Tree Hill” (8 p.m., WB) … Baby fever on “Yes, Dear” (8:30 p.m., CBS) … Sofia re-enters the dating pool and finds it shallow on “Freddie” (8:30 p.m., ABC).
Life turned upside down on “Veronica Mars” (9 p.m., UPN) … Dramatic license on “Related” (9 p.m., WB)
Late night
Orlando Bloom and Alicia Keys appear on “Late Show with David Letterman” (11:35 p.m., CBS) … Jay Leno hosts Dr. Phil, Dennis Rodman and Dwight Yoakam on “The Tonight Show” (11:35 p.m., NBC) … Ozzy Osbourne, Josh Hutcherson and Black Starr appear on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (12:05 a.m., ABC).