Freedom incomplete without gay rights

As a small child, I always knew that I was different from the other kids at school, especially from the other boys. I did not know what that difference was, but I knew there was something. I also knew, instinctively, not to talk about it

As I grew older, boys began to single me out for unwanted attention. In ninth grade, I had my hair set on fire on a school bus. The boys who did that knew I was different, even though I don’t think they knew what that difference was any more than I did. I knew I didn’t want to anger those boys any more than they already were. I just wanted to pretend it never happened, especially since my dad had yelled at me for not fighting back and protecting myself.

I was 19 and living in Texas when I finally realized I was gay, and knew that there were other people just like me, and that they, too, were perfectly normal people. Although I was still scared about being different, I knew that I was not alone, that I had found a community. I felt, finally, as if I belonged somewhere.

When I told my little brother that I was gay, he said, “Yeah, dude, no doubt.” When I told my mom, she cried, because her vision of what she had wanted for me was now very different, but mostly because she was scared about how I would be treated.

Two years later, my mom and I ended up sharing an apartment together. Tony, a guy from out of town that I was dating, had just left, and she and I were watching television. We had not talked about my being gay since the day that I came out to her. Suddenly, in the silence, she said, “You know what, Phillip? I like Tony much better than any of the girls you ever dated. I’m glad that you are happy.” My relationship with Tony didn’t work out, but my mom and I grew closer from that moment on until the day that she died.

I realize that as a gay man, I was then and still am very lucky. Many gays and lesbians are disowned and thrown out of their families’ lives. Many of them have to go on and rebuild new “families,” find a new community in which to belong.

With all of the advances that have been made in our nation and the world, it still isn’t enough. Even in the states that allow civil unions or same-sex marriage, those couples are still not recognized by the federal government. It is still legal in many states to fire people because of their orientation, for hospitals to refuse same-sex partners to visit their ailing or even dying spouses. Heterosexuals have approximately 1,500 rights that are not shared by homosexuals. That is a lot of loss of freedoms for a country that proclaims to be fighting for freedom around the world. Freedom isn’t free, especially if you do not fit into what the majority thinks you should be.

So, what can we do to take this social justice cause on and make it right? We can do whatever we can, because every little bit helps. While I certainly do not think I am anywhere near as great a man as Martin Luther King Jr., I, too, have dreams for my people.

My first dream is that our Spokane Pride March on Saturday be the biggest that Spokane has ever witnessed, that we all come together, regardless of sexual orientation, to show our city, the nation and the world that we will not allow inequality to continue to happen.

My next dream — and it’s an easy one — is that each and every one of us write to our congressperson, senators, the majority and minority leaders, the speaker of the House, and to the presidential nominee of our choice. Tell them that, “We the People means All of the People.” Tell them why you believe that. Tell them how you will not accept anything less for anyone that you know and love.

My biggest dream, and one that I hope will come true in my lifetime, is that gays, lesbians, bisexuals and the transgendered will not have to be referred to as such; that they will just be our friends, our family and our neighbors; that they will simply be the people in our lives just like everyone else.

It is a great ability that humans have, to dream. But better yet, it is the ability that we have to work together to make those dreams come true. Let’s show our nation and the world together that freedom actually can be free, without violence, for all.