Annie’s Mailbox: Friend sabotages her relationships

Dear Annie: My friend “Nina” just broke up with her boyfriend of five years. We are here for her, trying to help in any way we can, even though we think she is out of her mind for doing this.

One of our friends has been telling Nina lies about the guy, saying he has been talking about her behind her back. I have never heard him do this. All he has ever said is that he loves Nina and doesn’t understand why she broke things off.

This friend has a reputation for being dishonest. There have been fights about this before. She has backstabbed Nina twice in the past, yet Nina always turns to her when she thinks her world is collapsing. Nina has told me that she doesn’t trust this woman, but they continue to act like sisters.

I care a great deal about Nina, but at what point does a 40-year-old woman grow up? Maybe Nina needs to have her life blow up in her face so she gets a clue. Is there anything I can do? – A Real Friend

Dear Friend: Not really. Nina knows this woman lies to her, and yet she is willing to break off an otherwise good relationship over it. We think Nina does this on purpose. It provides an excuse for her to sabotage her relationships and be miserable. Either she doesn’t believe she deserves happiness or she likes creating drama. Tell Nina you care about her and want her to be happy, but she is going to have to do some work to get there. Suggest counseling, but don’t hold your breath.

Annie’s Snippet for Earth Day (credit E.B. White): I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority.