A baby’s diaper bag belongs to the parent
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there a proper monogram to place on a diaper bag? Should it be the mother’s or the baby’s monogram?
GENTLE READER: Even though the baby has custody over most of its belongings, it is not technically his or her bag. Unless you plan on giving the bag to the baby when you outgrow the need, Miss Manners thinks the monogram should be the parent’s.
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DEAR MISS MANNERS: My younger brother is 14 years old, and several years ago he came out as gay to the family, to some other relatives and to some friends. He has told us that it’s no one else’s business unless he makes it their business.
My brother is a 10 out of 10. He gets more than his fair share of attention from both girls and boys. My problem is the girls who come to me and ask if my brother is dating, seeing someone, has a girlfriend, is available or are they his type? Questions from the boys range from, is it true my brother is gay? Or they tell me they are gay and ask if my brother is gay, seeing someone, has a boyfriend or girlfriend.
My brother has made it clear it’s not up to me to out him. I love him and don’t want to upset him, but I’m at a loss for answers.
GENTLE READER: But you don’t owe them answers. Miss Manners suggests your politely pointing out that you are his sibling, not his social secretary.
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DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the polite way to respond when asked if you are attending an event to which you were not invited?
For example: An old college friend of mine is getting married this year. A separate mutual friend asked whether I would be attending the bridal shower. I was not invited to the bridal shower. I am not surprised that I did not receive an invitation since we have not spoken in years. I did not want to respond, “No, I’m not attending because I was not invited” because I am afraid it sounds bitter, which I’m not at all!
For future reference, what is the appropriate response?
GENTLE READER: “No, I’m afraid we haven’t seen each other for a long time,” said pleasantly and with no animosity. If you are genuinely curious about the event and can inquire about it in a similarly unbiased fashion, then Miss Manners will allow you to pursue the subject, but otherwise change it.
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DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my husband and I cook together in the kitchen, he says it is rude not to say, “Excuse me” and “Would you please move?” every time we cross each other’s path or reach near each other.
Just today he said it was rude when I reached to put food on his plate without saying, “Excuse me.” What do you think?
GENTLE READER: That manners apply to everyone, even to pesky spouses who are in your way. Those who think otherwise are, Miss Manners fears, headed for worse marital problems.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.) ** ** ** (EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Alan McDermott at amcdermott@amuniversal.com.