Is it a faux pas to mention exes?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m 62 and have been divorced for 26 years. I’ve been dating the love of my life for 15 years – obviously not in a hurry to tie the knot, though I gave her a beautiful engagement ring over the summer.

A couple of times in conversations with other people while my fiancee is present, I have told an amusing story (different each time) that involved my ex-wife or a past girlfriend. My fiancee later tells me that that was rude and it offended her.

I have since been quite careful never to go there. Until yesterday.

While we were eating at the bar of a casual restaurant, I struck up a conversation with the couple next to me. The gentleman stated he was from a neighborhood I was familiar with. I then proceeded to tell him that 22 years ago, I played a humorous prank on my child on the way over to my then-girlfriend’s house in that same neighborhood (it involved the geography of that neighborhood). I’m a social drinker and was having fun making the couple laugh.

Needless to say, I caught heck on the drive home for mentioning an ex-girlfriend. I told her she was being childish and that it’s history – adding, however, that because it offends her, it’ll never happen again. In my head, I’ll just have to think really hard and use generic terms like “friend.” I’ve just never had to analyze anything before I say it. I’m not purposely being rude.

Is she oversensitive? I told her even if, in your opinion, she’s wrong, I will still never go there.

GENTLE READER: The only relevant rule here is: Don’t annoy your fiancee. Not that Miss Manners fails to understand what a pleasure it would be to tell the lady that she is wrong, but that you are humoring her anyway.

Can you imagine how complicated it would be to have a rule about whom one can and cannot mention from one’s past? (Still, and between us, Miss Manners does think it odd for people in midlife to pretend they had no pasts, even benign ones.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was enjoying a bowl of soup at home recently, and I remembered what I believe to be your advice about using the side of the spoon. However, this particular soup contained rice and small meatballs. In delivering the meatball to my mouth using the side of the spoon, I slurped the liquid.

As my primary goals were to deliver the soup without spilling or slurping, I delivered the next meatball by itself with no liquid using the tip of my oval spoon. Is this the correct method when a soup contains morsels of solid food?

GENTLE READER: Why does Miss Manners have the feeling that she is being blackmailed? That you are suggesting that if she doesn’t lift the rule, there will be soup all over the tablecloth? Neatness first, if she must choose. But you really ought to ask the cook to make smaller meatballs.