More Pure Bunk From The Bench

Dear Ann Landers: I live in Crown Point, Ind., and I’m enclosing a news item from the Gary Post-Tribune about another goofy judge. Magistrate Clarence Murray sentenced Michael J. McCrovitz to 90 days’ probation after McCrovitz pleaded guilty to invasion of privacy.

That may sound fairly innocuous, but let me tell you what happened. The victim met McCrovitz two years ago. Since then, her home has been burglarized, her car vandalized and her possessions destroyed. She testified that McCrovitz once held her by the neck and forced her to swallow pennies, among other things I won’t mention because you couldn’t print it. She was so afraid of this man that she lived with friends or in her car for almost five months.

Court records show he has victimized other women. One said he strangled her with an electrical cord and stuffed cotton in her mouth until she passed out.

This man did not dispute the charges. He is obviously very dangerous, and yet the judge, Clarence Murray, let him go free.

You can be sure we have not heard the last of him. - Betty in Indiana

Dear Betty: Thank you for yet another entry in the strange and inexplicable Judicial Decisions Sweepstakes. Please let me know if there is a follow-up.

Dear Ann Landers: I’d like to tell your readers that the rule of courtesy, “ladies first,” which males are taught early in life, does not always apply. There are some situations when a lady is expected to go last, for instance: when getting off a bus; when getting out of a taxi, bus or limo (unless there’s a doorman); when walking through a train; when weaving the way from table to dance floor and back; when looking for seats at the movies (unless there’s an usher); when climbing in and out of a small boat (unless it’s sinking); when walking up and down stairs or escalators; when pushing through a revolving door; and when proceeding toward a table in a restaurant (unless there’s a waiter leading).

In all those examples, as you’ve probably noticed, the gentleman is expected to go first to help the lady in some way or another. He gets off the bus first so he can offer his hand. He goes through the train first so he can open and close that long succession of heavy doors. He serves as advance scout at movies and restaurants unless an employee leads the way. He runs interference through crowds, staying slightly ahead of the woman, so she can follow comfortably in his wake. He acts as both guide and possible fall-breaker going down stairs or escalators. (Going up, he goes first mainly for reasons of the woman’s modesty.) In boat boarding and debarking, the main purpose of the male leading is to be in a position to help the woman up or down the ramp, which can be precarious.

Common sense dictates most of these practices. Your grandmother’s etiquette book had nothing to say about revolving doors, but your beau knows instinctively that his initial strength is helpful in getting a heavy door moving. He goes first in order to push.

Men should also go first any time that not doing so will cause confusion. On crowded elevators, for example, observing the “ladies first” rule can be a sheer nuisance. Whoever is closest to the door should get off first, man, woman or child.

Thanks for letting me give your readers a lesson in manners, Ann. - New York

Dear New York: On behalf of all the males you educated today (and their ladies), I say thank you.