5-Year-Olds Talk Turkey

Sure, those friendly folks at the turkey company hotlines can tell you the time-honored, politically correct instructions for preparing your holiday bird.

But if you really want to talk turkey, find a 5-year-old.

Here’s the straight scoop on how to cook a turkey, courtesy of Mrs.

Bennett’s kindergarten class at Logan Elementary School in Spokane:

Samantha: Go to a turkey store right by another store. You should get one 30 pounds of a turkey. Put sugar in it. You put it in a pot on the stove. Cook it at 34 for 20 minutes. It will look a little bit brown. You put it on a plate. You make it for Thanksgiving.

Cynthia: I don’t know how to talk about turkeys. Genell cooks good. She buys turkey at the store. Then she goes to the barn, too. She just cuts the chicken up. First she oils it, then she points all the feathers out, then she kills it with a gun. Then she cooks it on a oven. I think it’s 20 minutes. She has to turn it more hotter. Then we eat it.

Kianna: If there is a spot on the turkey, it won’t taste good, so you get a different one which doesn’t have spots. It’s as big as a bowling ball. It costs $1. Put it in the oven a little bit of hot for like six minutes. Check if it looks like it’s done, a little bit of red and peach. Take it out and cut it.

Ryne: Cook a turkey. You cook it at a pot. You get it at a store. And you can shoot a pig, too, so I can eat it. You take the pink out of the pig. You have to take the tail off. You know when it’s done with the cooking book.

Alicia: Go to like a turkey store. It should be as big as a car. Pay a bunch of dollars. You gotta get the ribs off with a knife. You put stuffing in it. Cook it for 20 minutes. You should check it. It should be the same color or maybe a little bit dark brown. Make corn with it and potatoes, that’ll be good. Maybe have ice cream.

Jessica: Get one what’s big. And brown. It costs $10. You need to take out the bones so we don’t eat them. Cook it in the oven a little hot. Cook it for 10 hours until the timer goes beep. Take it out and eat it. With a fork.

Jonathan: I don’t know much about turkeys. You might wanna ask Joy. She knows all about turkeys. Get one from a farm. You bring it home. You have it in three bags so it doesn’t get a mess all over the car. You cook it. All I know is you put it on the oven and I think you make it hot. And I think you boil it. Then you can check it. You’ve gotta put it in the inside part of the stove. You could ask Joy. She knows all about turkeys.

Joy: You can get one anywhere, from a farm, a store, a woods. You stuff it with gravy. You put it in this pot, and you take off the skin. You can’t leave the skin on it, it’s dead skin. You’d probably get sick. Then you put the juice in a little cup and you pour the juice on it to taste good. Then put it into the oven for a little while. If you want to put stuff around it, you can put tomatoes and anything you want, like carrots … You can cook anything that matters to you. Like rice. Put a pumpkin and a cloth on the table. Put on a towel so you don’t make a mess. You can do the kind of stuff that you usually do for dinner. Get a little spoon to pick up all the messy stuff. Like the stuff that’s inside the turkey, like guts and stuff. And food that’s been eaten.

Marley: A farm. He’s in a cage. Buy a brown one for $2. Take off the head. You cook him. Clean the table. You watch TV.