We can’t choose family, but we can choose to love them
Family can be a positive part of life. It can provide love and support. Family doesn’t necessarily mean parents, siblings and relatives. Among gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender and questioning people, family often is more non-traditional. Friends, roommates and guardians might be classified as family.
Gay and lesbian youths have a 50-50 chance of being rejected by their (traditional) family if they come out to them. Because of this risk, according to national statistics on the Project YES Web site, 42 percent of all homeless/throwaway youths are GLBTQ. Throwaway means that a youth has been turned away from his home, whereas runaway is more often a voluntary departure. These youths no longer have a family, unless they create one.
Most people create a family apart from their birth family. When I moved to this area for school, I missed the comfort of my family and thus sought friends. I’m not one to have a large group of friends, but the ones I have are dear to me.
These friends accept me as I am and are there for me. I have many sisters and brothers now. Not all of them were comfortable with me being gay, originally. I remember celebrating my 21st birthday and two of my close friends, who are straight, wouldn’t come to Dempsey’s because they were uncomfortable going to a gay bar.
It may seem counteractive to choose friends based on sexual orientation, but sometimes it is helpful to have someone who truly relates to what you are talking about. Often, GLBTQ groups strive to create a family for their members because their meetings could be the only place a person feels at ease as himself.
Of course, there is always the wonderful possibility of that families will accept their gay relatives . Remember it’s a 50-50 chance of rejection, and as an optimist, I think those are good odds.
Parents, Friends and Family of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), which has a Spokane chapter ( www.pflagspokane.org), is a wonderful organization that offers support.
Many books are directed toward helping families accept GLBTQs. “Out of the Closet into Our Hearts: Celebrating Our Gay/Lesbian Family Members” shares stories and discusses ending homophobia through family involvement. “Love, Ellen,” written by Betty Degeneres, comedian Ellen Degeneres’ mother, deals with her coming to terms with, and accepting, Ellen’s sexuality.
Family is important, no matter what form it may take. I feel lucky to have my biological family, gay family, and friends. Neglecting those you love simply because they are GLBTQ can be devastating. Thirty-three percent of suicides are committed by gay and lesbian youths. This is unnecessary. Love and acceptance can help decrease this number. Families, please seek information before making a rash decision. After they come out, your family members are no different than before. They are still human beings who also would love you no matter what.
Palouse Pride Parade
The Palouse Pride Parade will be this Saturday in Moscow. It will start at 11:30 a.m. at Main and Eighth Street and continue five blocks to Friendship Square. The Palouse Pride Festival, which will include artists and retail booths, is from noon to 4 p.m. at East City Park (Third and Hayes streets).