A mother’s pain

Children grow up in the pages of photo albums. Kris Finley’s daughter was no different.

There are snapshots of her cherub-faced child at her first dance recital, her first day of school, and her first boy-girl dance. But then the images end abruptly.

The last childhood photo of Natasha Finley, who is now 16, is from a May 2005 formal dance at Columbia High School in Hunters, Wash., where she was a freshman student and varsity cheerleader.

The photo sits right next to a birth announcement for teen-ager’s infant son, the child of the teenager’s 31-year-old homeroom teacher, who is now her husband.

Finley says her daughter’s teacher, Robert M. Swalstad, preyed on an emotionally vulnerable girl, duped the older family members and married the girl in Wyoming before anyone realized what was going on.

“There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t cry,” said Finley, a single mother of three and teacher’s aide in another school district. “He has taken my youngest child from me. He ruined our lives.”

On Tuesday, Finley will get a chance to tell Swalstad exactly how she feels when the former teacher appears before a Stevens County judge to face a single gross-misdemeanor charge of communication with a minor for immoral purposes. At most, Swalstad, whose teaching certificate was revoked by the state in October, faces a year in jail.

Reached in Worland, Wyo., Swalstad declined an interview with The Spokesman-Review.

A year ago at this time, Finley saw Swalstad in a different light. Swalstad was her daughter’s savior, who swooped in to help her family during a chaotic time.

It began in the winter of 2004, when Natasha’s 17-year-old boyfriend died in a car crash.

The two had quarreled, and David Mendoza apparently left the house angry just before the crash. Some students in the town north of the Spokane Indian Reservation blamed Natasha Finley for his death.

“There were kids threatening to beat her up,” Kris Finley said. “She went into depression.”

That’s when Swalstad, then 30 and married to another schoolteacher in Hunters, began to counsel her daughter, Finley said. Natasha was 15 at the time.

Finley said the teacher would come by their home and offer to take Natasha out to get a soda or on drives in his car when she needed to talk.

“He sat down with all of us at first, and we would just talk about David and talk about life. He was earning my trust,” Kris Finley said. “I really thought it was OK. He was her teacher, and I trusted him.”

Hunters, about 60 miles northwest of Spokane, is a town that includes nothing more than a post office, a feed store with a restaurant inside, and the school. It’s a place where “everybody kind of knows everybody else,” in the words of resident Cathy Cogdell.

In such a small town, rumors are quick to spread.

And when rumors began that her daughter and Swalstad were having sex, Kris Finley called the school to say they were false. But Swalstad’s attraction to teenage girls was the talk of the town before he became involved with Natasha Finley. Complaints about his behavior first surfaced in 2003, a year after he was hired by the district to teach physical education and coach basketball, volleyball and track.

The Columbia School District put Swalstad on paid administrative leave from his teaching duties to investigate. That investigation confirmed that he had intercourse with at least one 18-year-old former student, according to records obtained by the newspaper through a public records request. That young woman, now 19, did not have sex with Swalstad until the summer after she graduated, the records state.

Through interviews with several students, the district concluded that Swalstad may have had relationships with other girls. School district officials could not be reached but have declined comment for past stories.

The investigation wasn’t made public until Swalstad was arrested for making Natasha Finley pregnant. But given all the rumors, some people in Hunters wonder how Kris Finley could have allowed her daughter to continue a relationship with the man. How could a mother not see what was going on?

But Cogdell said she understands. “I have great sympathy for Kris,” she said.

Just as predators groom kids for sex, they can groom victims’ parents to trust that nothing bad is happening, said Cogdell, whose own daughter was a victim of sexual assault in another Washington county. Cogdell said she, too, trusted the man who abused her daughter. “I know what it’s like to be totally confused, to not know what on earth is going on.”

Now Cogdell is helping to circulate a community petition telling the court that Hunters residents believes Swalstad has been under-prosecuted. About 100 people have signed the petition.

Initially, Swalstad faced a third-degree felony rape charge, but that’s been reduced to a misdemeanor, which carries a maximum sentence of a year in jail or $5,000 fine, or both.

“People here feel powerless,” Cogdell said. “It’s just not right.”

Stevens County Prosecutor Jerry Wetle said he is bound by a plea agreement not to discuss the case before Swalstad is sentenced. He did say, however, that Swalstad will have to register as a sex offender if he pleads guilty under the current charge.

Finley said the prosecutor informed her that Swalstad will likely serve no jail time, and that it’s partly her fault. When she first discovered her daughter was pregnant, Kris Finley was uncooperative with the prosecutor, thinking she should respect her daughter’s wishes to stay with Swalstad.

Jim Hines, an unofficial child advocate who lives in Gig Harbor, Wash., said he’s not surprised by Finley’s reaction.

“Most of the time the family of the victim does not even know how to react. They don’t understand what is going on and then down the road they feel ripped off,” Hines said. “But I understand when you have a family that doesn’t want to work with the courts, prosecutors are put in a very difficult position.”

Hines runs a Web site, www.preservechildhoodinnocence.com. He is pushing state lawmakers to pass tougher laws for sex offenders, calling for tougher mandatory sentencing for rapists and less flexibility for plea deals and alternative programs for offenders.

“We as a society have said that 15-year-old girls don’t just fall in love with their 30-something teachers. And that the teachers do not impregnate them. That’s not the way things work,” Hines said “The reality is that he violated her; he was in a position of authority and trust and took advantage of that.”

The case has also become more complicated because Swalstad’s relationship with Natasha has evolved. The two now have a son, born Jan. 6. And they are married.

Last August, Finley drove her daughter down to Worland, Wyo., to be with Swalstad, who got divorced from his first wife and moved in with his parents.

Finley says she made the trip because a court-appointed victim’s advocate, Linda Daniels, told her it was the best way to convince Natasha she’d be better off in Hunters. Daniels, when reached by phone Friday, said confidentiality rules prohibit her from acknowledging whether she knows Finley.

Finley said Daniels tried to convince her that Natasha “would beat me back home because she would be so homesick for me.” The attempt at reverse psychology failed.

Kris Finley reluctantly agreed to the marriage at first and called the court to set up an appointment to petition for a marriage license. But then she changed her mind.

“I didn’t feel right about it. I told (Swalstad) that I did not want them to be married.”

Swalstad, Finley said, agreed to bring her daughter back to Washington. So Kris Finley left Wyoming.

Three days later, Swalstad married the girl.

It is unclear why the marriage was allowed to happen since Finley never consented in writing or made a court appearance. Wyoming law requires a parent’s written consent for marriage if a petitioner is under 18 years old and a court order for any petitioner who is 15 years old.

Tuesday will be the first time she has seen her daughter since January, when the girl gave birth. A picture of Natasha holding her newborn ran in the Northern Wyoming Daily News because Tyshon Thunder Swalstad was Worland’s first baby of the year.

Finley says Swalstad doesn’t want her to have contact with her teenage daughter anymore.

Swalstad is no longer a teacher; he’s cleaning houses. His wife is no longer a student.

The relationship between mother and daughter has become hostile.

Nevertheless, “She’s still my baby girl,” Finley said. “I just want my child home.”