Tell him you know of affair

Dear Annie: I’m a teenager, and a few months ago, I tripped over something I wish I’d never seen. My father’s e-mail happened to be open, and I saw one with the subject line “I love you.” I was curious, thinking it was a sweet note from my mother, so I looked inside. It turned out to be written by a girl named “Mary.”

I decided to read more, to make sure it wasn’t just an e-mail sent to the wrong address, and I was disgusted by what I found. Turns out there have been several e-mails, from both my father and Mary, proclaiming their love for each other. My father apparently has seen her on numerous occasions and talked about being intimate with her. I did my research and learned that Mary works with my father, is significantly younger and is still in college.

I’m not sure how to deal with this. I cannot bear the sight of my father without thinking of what he has done. I do not want to tell my mother, because I am afraid they will get a divorce and rip our family apart, and the blame will be on me.

I still cannot get over the fact that my father has cheated, and may still be cheating, on my mother. Any advice? – Horrified Teen

Dear Horrified: This is why snooping is such a bad idea. You discover things you wish you’d never known.

Talk to Dad, and tell him what you found and how upset you are. Let him know that you don’t feel comfortable keeping his secret, so he’d better come clean to Mom. You are not responsible for your parents’ happiness. If they are having problems, they should seek professional help, and you might want to discuss this with your school counselor or a trusted adult who will be discreet.

Dear Annie: My husband became ill and eventually lost his job. We then had to claim bankruptcy. I am wondering if, after the bankruptcy is finalized, there is any way we can start rebuilding our credit in spite of the seven to 10 years it is on our credit report. – Ashamed and Embarrassed Couple

Dear Ashamed: Sometimes circumstances spiral out of control, and there is no shame in using the bankruptcy laws to get back on your feet.

Unfortunately, a bankruptcy will stay on your credit record for seven years and may reduce your “credit score” for even longer. You still will have some access to credit (you will probably continue to receive solicitations for high- interest credit cards), but it will be more expensive. While you are waiting for the time to pass, be sure to pay all your bills promptly and keep your financial noses clean. Good luck.