Miss Manners: Thoughtful gift says more than gift itself

Dear Miss Manners: Like so many who work in retail, I have been spending lots of time helping people find Christmas presents. I love the challenge of finding the perfect gift, so I often enjoy my job.

The trouble is that most of the people who come in to my store these days just march in and ask me what their mother (or sister, or father, or cousin) would like for Christmas. When I ask what their mother is interested in, or what they were thinking about getting her, I get only glares or frustrated sighs.

I have come to the conclusion that what most people are in need of this Christmas are people in their lives who are willing to take some time to think about them.

It is my job to sell things to customers. Should I talk them into something and send them out the door if that really seems to be what they want? Is there a polite way to get them to start thinking?

Gentle reader: Without the symbolism that shows that the giver has paid attention to the tastes and interests of the recipient, it seems a futile exercise.

But neither you nor Miss Manners will be able to supply that. She will keep urging thoughtfulness, and you, who are being put on the spot, must resort to showing the items for sale and asking, “Would she like this?” “Do you think this would please him?”