You can leave while family visits

Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married eight years, and we each have grown children from our previous marriages. We moved to a rural area where hotel accommodations are few.

My wife thinks it’s perfectly OK for her son to bring his girlfriend and stay for a week. She does the same with her brother and every other relative. We live close to her elderly parents, so they travel to see them. Unfortunately, their house is small and overheated, so everyone wants to stay with us. My wife even headed a family reunion with 35 people who stayed in campers but used our house to shower.

I wouldn’t mind one couple staying a night or two, but my wife can’t say no. She thinks I’m antisocial and says opening the door to friends and relatives, without boundaries, is natural and loving. We can’t seem to reach a compromise. Please help. – Antisocial Husband in Spokane

Dear Husband: Your wife is a generous soul. Hosting the relatives makes her happy. The compromise is for her to do it less often than she wants, but more often than you’d like. Try to work on that. Your other option is to vacate the premises when she has guests so they cannot irritate you quite so much.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Talks Too Much.” I find myself with the same problem – only I’m the one who talks too much.

I am single and live in New York, and the rest of my family lives in Virginia. Most of our correspondence is by email. At 90, I don’t get around much, and there are weeks when I don’t talk to anyone. I started losing my voice since it was so rarely used. What’s embarrassing is that when I meet up with friends, I find I can’t stop talking. Fortunately, I realize this and can control it. Being lonely brings on many unimaginable problems. – EM