The Slice

Here’s a first serving.

We suppose it’s better to wait for the mail than become the anal-retentive old man who manicures his lawn with a pair of tweezers and takes the leaf-blower to the yard when three leaves have fallen. Or maybe not.

They used to say Virginia was for lovers. Maybe Spokane can co-opt the motto.

Still, we’d take riding the bus in Spokane vs. the bus in Seattle any day.

Today The Slice presents a template for weekend conversations.

If you don’t rock, maybe you can still roll.

Who knows why they cause such rage?

If you watch enough British TV mysteries and detective shows, it’s almost inevitable. You will find yourself asking, why couldn’t one of these programs be set in the Spokane area?

As it happens, next Monday is Elvis Presley’s birthday. And here are seven reasons why that’s the perfect day to start on the road to a new, improved you.

Since its founding in the summer of 2007, the Spokane based International Order of Friendly Marmots has compiled an enviable record of achievement.

Remember, this is the only zodiac column tailored to your particular Spokane area needs and written by someone you might have flipped off in traffic.

As always, you won’t believe what he had to say.

What’s it like to have Jan. 1 for a birthday? A) It’s kind of fun, what with the fireworks and all. B) It puts a degree of pressure on one to be a pacesetter. C) It lends a certain logic to the calendar. D) It makes every year the “Year of the Dave.” E) It’s nice having your birthday be a holiday. F) I live in dread of the War on Happy New Year. G) Other.

The fact that First Night Spokane has struggled is not totally my fault. Just because The Slice has been obsessed with the New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day “Twilight Zone” marathon over the years doesn’t mean I am the reason more people have not come downtown for First Night.

Reciprocal holiday enjoyment at its brightest.

Keep the hot cocoa coming and everyone will survive.

She no longer covets a reporter’s notebook.

Does your list get the stamp of approval?

Maybe that’s where the crazy cat lady thing comes from.