Good Will - Not Rules - Is What’S Lacking
Dear Miss Manners: Campers used to be so considerate and most came to enjoy the peace and solitude of nature. But now many seem to think that when they pay their camping fee, they are entitled to do anything they please, anywhere they please on the whole campground.
They cut through your site, walk their dogs on your site, and allow their children to play on others’ sites. We even encountered one camper who couldn’t back his rig into his site, so he pulled in forward and tried to take over our site.
Some campers think nothing of tying up restroom stalls for changing clothes while people are waiting in line to use the bathroom, or tying up a sink for at least an hour washing their hair and putting on makeup And there is a prevailing lack of good judgment in building safe campfires.
It is no longer realistic to expect a peaceful retreat from city life in a camping environment. People don’t even read the campground rules or make any attempt to follow them. Shouldn’t traditional camping etiquette still apply? Please provide some basic rules to make camping an enjoyable experience for everyone.
Gentle Reader: But you just said that they already have rules and won’t read them. What seems to be lacking is good will.
So what is needed are not more rules but stronger measures to enforce them. Miss Manners must re-direct you to the camping patrols, as she is not about to pull on her boots and go through the campsite barking everyone into submission.
She does agree that it is a dreadful shame that this is necessary and that people do not just allow the calming influence of nature to make them - well, civilized.
Yet Miss Manners does not want to encourage your people-used-to-be-perfect mode. She seems to recall that until the last decade or so, campers would strew their trash all over the natural world; they are less likely to do this now that society fiercely condemns littering.
This does not mean that she thinks showing consideration for the environment makes up for not showing it to people.
But she does want to remind you that there is such a thing as etiquette progress as well as the more obvious regression.
Dear Miss Manners: As a person who always adheres to the rules of proper etiquette, I was upset to be chastised for inserting a bridal registry card with bridal shower invitations after reading in your column that it is perfectly acceptable to do so, since a bridal shower is a gift-giving event.
If you would be kind enough to send me a photocopy of your answer, I’d be most appreciative.
Gentle Reader: Sorry, but this is impossible. Even under torture, Miss Manners would never countenance sending bridal registry cards under any circumstances whatsoever. Those things are greedy and vulgar and should not be allowed to exist.
You seem to have taken an unauthorized leap from Miss Manners’ admission that showers do feature presents, and her permission to provide some general guidance such as calling the event a “kitchen shower,” to believing you could tell people exactly what to buy.
The bridal registry, even if used properly - that is, waiting for guests to ask if the couple is registered, rather than anticipating their generosity by telling them what is expected - has to do with wedding presents, not showers. There should be a major difference in scale between them, not multiple rounds of wedding presents for the same couple.